See I guess unless you go there and see how the kids act on day to day basis its hard to say. Before my son was in TJ the elementry schools take it VERY seriously, as it should be. Kids need to speak up and talk with their parents if they are getting bullied, its not right. AND Parents need to talk with their children. They learn from us so we all need to set a good example.

Yes, TJ does have a bullying issue! Issues in the school that have come up controversial or would be deemed in the "public eye" less than flattering are often swept under the rug. It is time for the administration to step up and take a hard line with this (more than an assembly) to let students know that bullying is not tolerated!

I think its important to ask the question: What's Isolated? The fighting? Whenever a story like this hits the news, we tend to see very prepared language in the response. Twitter sized soundbytes tend to do a poor job of really explaining the situation.

For those who did see the full video ... having 3-6 kids stand around giggling, celebrating, smiling, while one kid bullies another is not an isolated issue, its unfortunately very much a part of the culture, and the primary reason that bullying continues in a variety of forms.

"Two Thomas Jefferson Middle School students have been suspended after following through on a locker room bet to beat up a third student"

Let me fix that.

"Two Thomas Jefferson Middle School students have been expelled after following through on a locker room bet to beat up a third student. The students who merely stood around and watched have all been suspended."

Much better.

I agree with Anne. My daughter was bullied the whole time she was a TJ. It broke my hart to see her come home every day crying not wanting to go back. I would go into the office constantly demanding that something be done. I would be given answers like we are going to address the problem or we are going to have the kids hold a peer mediation session. What a joke!!! The bullying started again with the same kids when she entered the high school, I once again made a trip into the office. I am glad to say the problem was taken care of right away and there have been no more problems (she is now a senior). TJ needs to take some lessions from the high school.

Along my earlier lines, if 4 students are being criminally investigated, why are only 2 suspended?

How can we as parents do something about this? I have one child attending now and will have 2 more in the upcoming years. I think us as parents need to step up and let our voices be heard. My son is a 5th grader there now and really has never came home and talked about it so this is an eyeopener for me for sure. But I would like to stand up and help as much as possible and see if theres something that can be done. I couldnt imagine being the parent of a child that was bullied. It breaks my heart.

I think if our kids had a principal that actually took these things seriously at the school it wouldnt be such an issue. There are a few instances I can think of as a parent that the prinicpal should have followed through on and didn't. Too many things get brushed under the rug and not handled. All the kids involved in this latest incident should all be punished. I commend the parent that saw the video and brought it to the schools attention. This was during 7th, where was the gym teacher? This just sickens me to think this goes on in our schools.

As a former TJMS student myself, I would have to agree with the statements above. Things get swept under the rug and nothing gets resolved. Mind you, I attended the school almost 15 years ago, but the administrative staff is essentially the same. At the time I was attacked by two boys outside of choir room, stabbed in the arm with a pencil, had a large block of ice thrown at me spraining my wrist, a rock thrown at my eye, and other situations I'd rather not divulge. The solution has been to do the peer mediation thing, but that never worked. In fact, in most cases it made things worse, because the bully or bullies would be enraged at having to go through it. Using want my children to have to suffer these same injustices.

As a parent of an eigth grader in Port Washington I can tell you this is not an isolated incident. Bullying is very common at TJ Middle School. The Administation frequently dismisses it as kids being kids. Dr Weber would rather praise his Character Counts program rather than deal with real problems in the district like bullying, drugs and alcohol.

A lot of parents are upset, and rightfully so. For every parent that is upset, there is a parent who is an enabler. We all know the type, the parent who makes up excuses for their child's bad choices/behavior, says "not my child", or even is disrespectful to the teacher or administrator who calls home to report and discuss the behavior. I am by no means excusing anything that goes on, or doesn't go on, at TJ, or any other middle school for that matter. I am merely pointing out the other side of parenting, which is a part of this problem.

So yes, you upset parents, voice your opinion to administration, not only at TJ, but at the district level. You also need to get out there and spread the word to the other parents in this community that their poor parenting skills or lack of them, enables these situations to continue.

I bet any money, the 2 boys who were suspended are having a "vacation" at home instead of having consequenses from their parents. Gosh, what kid doesn't want to stay home, while their parents are at work, and watch TV and snack and play video games all day. Yeah, real punishment there.

This will be swept under the rug like all other incidents in the district. The boy who payed the dallor only ended up with a one day suspension. Typical of Port Schools.

As a parent who has had to deal with four years of bullying at TJ with more kids about to enter middle school, it's time we removed Principal Galarowicz from his position. His tolerance of bullying is unacceptable in a community that should be the definiton of small town values and community support. There is no place in a school for an administrator who is more concerned about the public image of his school than the results hard work, teaching, and discipline. Parents who are oblivious to their children's bullying, in denial that their children are bullies, or flat out enable their children to be bullies are just as bad as Principal Galarowicz. It is time that an effort be made to make the community aware of the problem at TJ and to have Principal Galarowicz removed from our school system.

Matt, you are irrational, to say the least. I dare you to spend time in ANY middle school and I guarantee you will see bullying, probably even more than at TJ.

Mr. Galarowicz has bosses too. His hands are tied in some situations. He is not the only administrator in TJ you know.

I know that he has gone above and beyond to create a safe and respectful environment. He values families and knows most students by name, not just bad students.

It sounds to me like you have some personal beef with him Matt. You are probably one of the MANY people who would be complaining if there was a harsher consequence handed down to these kids.

Irrational? You have no idea the torment my child has gone through for the last four years. Emotional bullying, sexual harrassment, and physical violence. Between the complete ineffectiveness of the peer meetings, phone calls and meetings with teachers and Principal Galarowicz, and finally having to get the police involved on more than one occassion... Frustration is the word, not irrational. I'm not talking about annectodal stories from friends of friends but actual first hand experiences committed against my daughter. The complacency, tolerance, and lack of results by Principal Galarowicz and his administration along with countless stories like this fight in the locker room is exactly why he is ineffective at providing a safe environment for children.

You say his hands are tied? His bosses need to be held accountable as well if their inaction and protection of the school's image is also a problem. Dont pass the blame, include in the consequences. And Principal Galarowicz has gone above and beyond? I think not, it's obvious by the continual occurances that he has not done the minimum, much less above and beyond.

I dont have a personal beef with Galarowicz. My concerns and complaints are strictly on a professional performance basis. I believe in real consequences: detentions, suspensions, removal from extra cirricular activies, manditory continual meetings with the parents so everyone is fully aware of what is going on.. (running out of characters, tbc)

... continuing... Parents are as much to blame as Principal Galarowicz. We've talked directly with many of the bully's parents and gotten a variety of responses from positive like "I'll take care of it" to "my kid would never" to the outright awful "dont you know who I am." That's why these peer to peer meetings are a joke. Kids are not mature or responsible enought to handle difficult situations like this and parents need to be made to be involved. If parents are not aware of how their kid really acts, nothing will change. Or if parents and kids get preferntial treatment because they are part of a PTA or donate time for this and that, it does no service to the kids who are the bullies and nothing gets done to protect the bullied. If all else fails, then there's expulsion. But you cannot sweep it under the rug, or call one meeting with the kids and think it's all ok. That's not enough.

Mr Galarowicz might be a nice guy and he may truly have good intentions. But continuous problems at his school is ground enough for removal from his position. Our kids desearve it.

Well said Matt. Pleasant to be around, unless you cross him, does not denote professional effectiveness. I have first hand experience as well with the ineffective multiple meetings wasting countless hours of time with false promises to placate us parents who were willing to work together as a team, but there was no team. It was all lip service while the child suffered daily hell. One time, Mr Galarowicz slammed his hand on the table at me and his staff, those that were in the room, all looked down, leaving me to be the only person making eye contact. He IS a bully. Au contraire, "myopinion", Matt is clearly concerned about child development and safety. Your lashout seems far less than rational while Matt clearly states his concerns, his experiences and his position. I, for one, would ask for a stronger penalty for those kids, and penalty for the witnesses in the video too. Kids deserve correction now, and a strong message of what is acceptable and unacceptable, during this formative time. Agreed, Matt re "Don't you know who I am" or "my kid would never" serves no one, ever. Those are the parents who, I believe, will be most likely to bail their own kids out of jail and reap the rewards of offering little guidance and ultimate protection from penalty in the formative years. You reap what you sow. Mr Galarowicz is a bully and has sown bullying deep into the fabric that is TJMS. It is now time for him to harvest that. Enjoy the spoils of your work, Sir. Amen.

I have expereinced first hand the irrationality of Mr Galarowicz. I went directly to him on numerous occassions for the bullying problem my child ecnountered. For that I was then told that he would investigate it. It got worse. I went again and again. He needs to be held accountable for his inactions. This so called isolated incident is ridicuouls. I went event to the District Office to voice my concerns. The meeting was a joke. They never addressed the problem or the solution. All I received was the print out of the district bullying plan in place. When will enough be enough

A very similar situation happened to my son when he was in 6th grade at TJ. A student hired other students to attack him. My wife and I were told that it was being investigated, but nothing ever happened to the students who attacked him or the student that paid them. All that the principal told us was that the kids should get along better. My son is still at TJ and has had to deal with this for two years. As a community we need to take seriously our responsible to find board members that are willing to respect and reflect the desires and needs of the tax payer and stop continually protecting and supporting the teachers and administrators.

I have a hard time taking this incident as an indictment of Mr. G. or TJ in general. This is one awful incident. But I could list, over my years with kids in the district, a dozen times Mr. G. has gone above and beyond to support and advocate for his students. Do I hope the school evolves from this incident? Yes. But the sky isn't falling. TJ is a good school and Mr. G. is a good principal. He can't acquiesce to every parent who shows up in his office complaining. He can't expect everyone to like him. But he works hard to build a compassionate, professional community and leads extraordinarily well. Like I said, this was one awful event. No teacher or administrator can be in every corner of the school every moment. But Mr. G.'s many years of service to the district should not be lost in the frenzied, unreasonable "sky is falling" reactions to one incident.

This is not one incident, Anthony. This is representative of many incidents. This one just so happened to get caught on videotape. Yes, he can go above and beyond with every kid and every parent. He just picks and chooses. I'm glad you have had positive experiences. So have I. But there is a REAL problem here and it needs to be addressed and corrected so that the place is led properly and safely for all kids. Have a hard time believing...why? You didn't experience anything like this? Great for you. Sad for those of us who have, multiple times, or even once. You didn't pick up a kid for being harrassed, several days a week, with little help from school, did you? I have. Did you help investigage your kid getting beat up in a fight getting bet on before gym class? I didn't but I saw people involved suffer behind the scenes over the lack of organized response, have Mr G take a large part of a day to deal with it, which doesn't need to be either, if you have a planned protocol and just follow it. The problem is it's hodge-podge. If a parent complains, he jumps. If they don't, he usually does nothing. If you don't have specific personal experience with violent bullying at the school, I can understand how it's hard to believe. But, just because you haven't been to the new restaurant in town, does that mean it doesn't exist? No, it means you haven't seen it.... yet. Let's hope you never do. Let's correct the problems now so they stop repeating in similar ways.

Let me clarify, Ms. Sommers. I believe this is the only incident in which a student attacked another student while another student recorded the event on video. If there is another incident of this nature of which I'm unaware, please let me know. I hear your frustration and I think it's valid; we agree on the importance of addressing this issue in the broader context of harassment, etc. I can't agree (assuming you're asserting these points, I can't say for sure) , however, that A) TJ isn't a high quality school where many good things happen, and B) blaming this on Mr. G. will solve the problem. I agree that this incident can, I hope, become an opportunity to examine both the district's response to harassment and the role the prevailing school culture played in this incident and other examples of harassment. I'll even take it a step further; I hope the administrators across the district face this opportunity head-on, along with racism, gay/lesbian student harassment, etc. I get frustrated by some district officials' habit of reacting to conflict with a "golly gee, we have a darn good district" public relations strategy. Have the guts to face this issues head-on. Authenticity requires both the acknowledgement of positives and the negatives. So I hope, like you, from what I can tell, that the district doesn't sweep this under the rug. And I'm genuinely sorry about your child's experience. We can do better than the "hodge podge" that you describe. I respect your perspective.

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify, Anthony and I think we mostly agree. I'm assuming we're both parents here, and that should put us on the same team, the one who wants the best, safest school for ALL kids and strong leadership that is consistent and effective. I am asserting neither A nor B. The problem, the school, and Mr G are all multi- faceted with many excellent qualities, and some problems that may run deeper and wider than some may realize. My opinion is this situation is a symptom showing a link to a deeper dysfunction that is not typically brightly apparent, but now has come into more people's consciousnesses and, at this time and ongoing, at the very least, deserves to be fairly investigated, and I hope, properly addressed and corrected for long term better function. I don't think a broad investigation would be an unfair request or process. I understand it's costly, but, it is costly to think that our kids might not be getting a fair understanding of consequences nor experiencing a fully safe educational pursuit. I regret any lack of clarity as it can cause rifts not useful, and am grateful for the opportunity to explain myself further.
I encourage any and all families and kids to now come forward and keep an open mind to each others' experiences and positions.
The ultimate measure of a person is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. – Martin Luther King Jr.

Part of the problem is that Mr G has been presented with the need to institute a thorough anti-bullying program, one that is used daily in every class and hallway, and teach the kids to be allies if a problem arises, and has refused this, saying it would take too much time away from academics. This is not true. There are free programs that integrate right in, and that work to change the culture. He has proven to be unwilling to make positive change in the past. Let's hope that this opens his eyes to the need and his mind to the possiblity that it does not take much time or effort or cost to improve the culture of a school and empower students. It does take time though, so the longer we wait the bigger the problem stays or gets. Part of the problem is also, the denial of any problem. So, that will be the first hurdle, to take the language and get it to reflect the students' actual experiences. This lack of knowing how to be an ally and feeling it is safe to be an ally is an unacceptable omission from the social learning that should be going on in this middle school and is an unfortunate cultural reality at TJMS. This can be addressed, or continue to be ignored. Right now.
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mother of Two, your biggest question SHOULD be why did your son engage in this behavior? Your original question seems to place blame on the fact that there was no supervision. So, have you not taught your son that what he did was wrong? If you continue to place blame on everything and everybody BUT your son and the other boys involved, then your son will never learn personal responsibility.

This incident has now made it to the national news. It was discussed on Fox & Friends on the Fox News Channel. Does Thomas Jefferson Middle School receive any federal funding? If the school does, they are obligated by federal law to have a anti-bullying policy in place and enforcing it. Otherwise they could lose funding. Be very aware, if there is anyone who falls into a protected class and is being harassed, the school could be subject to legal action if corrective action is not taken. The Federal civil rights laws enforced by the Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights include Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, or national origin; Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex; and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, which prohibit discrimination on the basis of disability.

Mother of two, if your son was attacked and walked away, then why was he suspended? One could only gather that he was b/c you "took offense" that I said the suspended boys were in a vacation. If he truly did no wrong then I hope he is OK. I also hope you seek to make it right. Kids should only get suspended if they committed the offense.

@my opinion, there are flaws in the so-called "zero-tolerance" policy and that is a very good question, one many parents should ask the district, the principal and the community - why the bullied kid got suspended and WHY the rhetoric that this is a completely isolated incident, when it is not completely independent of other interconnected situations. Just because the videotaper was only suspended once before is not indicative of his behavior, only the documentation and action that has been taken regarding his behavior. This kind of situation happens and is not recorded nor reported the majority of the time. These kids have been all together in this one situation once, yes, that's true, but "an isolated incident is just political rhetoric, not truth, not an accurate representation of some kids' experience there. No kids should experience this in their education. It could be used as a springboard to attack problems head on, but instead, it's downplayed, again, at the expense of our kids' safety. Why the pretense when there is opportunity to address problems, admit them, and be respected for being pro-active instead of reactive, dismissive and deceptive. Why? So many whys... Why parent vs. parent? Why? Answer unneeded. Please reflect, support, understand we are in the journey together and don't win by attacking the kids or families. Even the bullies have been disserviced to date by not receiving strong anti-bullying education beyond a once a year assembly. "WHY?" can be Phase1

I go to school with the kids! And what all of you guys are saying is redicilos! It was stupid the guy who got beat up is/was my best friend! He had is own opinion as do I! And my opinion is the kid who video taped it is heartless and still is! Hes a compleat Bully he is involved in stupid things and the person who beat him! Many kids should have helped and trust me I have talked to them, and many had rude comments about the victum! But don't talk about our school badly. We are good childer with dreams and good grades. Don't let this unneeded stupid thing that should have never be done hurt my schools at our towns reputation! Again were a good group of kids with a couple unfortunate kids whos parents need to help! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SCHOOL IT HAS TO DO WITH THEIR PARENTS! People like you guys!

And @my opinion he did noting, he got a saspention because he "fought" back. And if you saw the video he never layed a hand on him! I know him he wouldn't hurt anyone he has a kind heart! And many people would say the same! And NEVER say " oh well if he didn't provoke this I feel bad for him"! He was Beaten why wouldn't you feel bad?!!!!!!!!! He was harm less!

Thank you, Student. I'd love to see more comments from students in this articulate manner.

Perhaps some of us got down on the school too harshly, when what's meant it that we'd like to see some improvements in some things, longterm and permanently. There are excellent points to the school and the administration, but there may be some omissions we'd like to see added for an even better excellent school. Thank you so much. Please keep your voice strong and have a great year and school career.

Yes my school needs improvements but if you look at other schools were doing pretty well! And I am sorry I know my opinion isnt needed in the parents conversation but a students point of view NEEDED to be heard! And I may have criticized people but to me they don't deserve to be talked about nicely! And Jaime thank you for even caring about what I said!