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Health & Fitness

MOVIE REVIEW: 'W.E.' Couldn't Care Less

You'd have to work really hard to get people not to care about a love story of this magnitude, but W.E. does it!

Of all the things to hate about this movie, the main one is this: it fails to make you care about one of the greatest love stories of the 20th century. When a movie (especially one for women) focuses on people who don't really have to work for a living, you better give the average moviegoer a reason to care about them. After all, back in the Sex and the City days, what woman wasn't rooting for Carrie Bradshaw?  But caring about what happens to the protagonists should take care of itself, which makes what you see onscreen that much more frustrating.

W.E. refers to Wallis Simpson, and King Edward the VIII. Simpson was an American divorcée who captured the heart of the titular king, who abdicated his throne to marry her. You'd think that would be enough to keep the entire movie to themselves, but Madonna, who both directed and co-wrote, also adds the story of Wally Winthrop, a woman in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage in 1998 New York.

The lonely Wally becomes obsessed with Wallis and Edward, essentially seeing their lives as the ultimate love story. She finds herself drawn to Sotheby's auction of their estate, and eventually strikes up a tentative romance with one of the security guards.

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You get the feeling that these two women are supposed to be kindred souls, fragile but determined to find love. But the only thing they really seem to have in common is that they were both beaten by their spouses, and that isn't nearly enough to cement a bond. The end result feels like two entirely different movies hastily thrown together in an editing room, which means neither woman really feels fleshed out or remotely sympathetic, and neither story really feels compelling.

The movie also refuses to give Wallis or Edward the gift of flaws. Wally is supposed to discover that their lives were no fairy tale, but any imperfection is seen as the result of those who refused to accept them. Yes, Wallis and Edward were banned from England for years, but their exile seems to have been spent in luxury in Paris. Furthermore, any argument about Wallis being a Nazi sympathizer is simply dismissed as the result of malicious gossip or an unsympathetic press. Edward's alleged Nazi leanings are not even discussed.

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Conversely, anyone who disliked the couple, such as Edward's brother King George VI and his wife, are also not allowed any good traits. These were the same monarchs who remained in London during the bombings of WWII, were instrumental in keeping up morale, and were incredibly popular. But after watching this, you would never think they were capable of that.

But the movie's biggest disasters are the scenes that involve domestic violence. Obviously, this is a very serious, very emotional, complicated problem. So if you're going to discuss it and/or show it onscreen, you had better do it right. But the end result feels like voyeuristic, overdramatic pandering. This is a real shame, since there are battered women out there who honestly need help and compassion. They stay with their abusers for various reasons. Wally's problems are easily solved, but not all women are so lucky.

The only thing the movie does get right is appearances. Every character in this story is immaculately, fashionably dressed, the makeup is perfect, and so are the sets. This would be a wonderful music video or advertisement, but unfortunately it's a few hours too long.

Madonna, I'm a big fan, but please, no more movies. You're so great at music, stick to that. Needless to say, skip this pretentious, pandering commercial. If you need me, I'll be watching The King's Speech.

REVIEWER RATING: F

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