Devaluating Compliments: A Wisconsin Art?

I complimented a staff member on her jacket the other day.

“Nice jacket,” I said.

Without hesitation she returned, “Thanks, it cost me eight bucks.” 

Since that interchange, which pretty much died like a clay pigeon picked out of the sky, I have giving a bit of thought to this propensity many of us have to devalue things we own, to dismiss compliments (when they come) and to generally undercut any possibility of appearing to be proud of our assets or abilities.

Questions come to mind.

Is this a Wisconsin thing? I run into it often since I have moved here … a well meaning note of appreciation gets a rejoinder that diminishes the thought.

“I like your car.” 

“Oh, this thing has 120K miles on it. Just paid a bit over four grand on the car.”

“Nice hair cut.”

“Oh, I just rolled out of bed today … late to work … its all crazy.”

“Pretty dress.”

“Goodwill.” 

"OK — okay, I am Sorry," I want to say. "Excuse me for thinking something you own is nice!"

It is possible that devaluing/ dismissing and generally dismantling compliments is Midwestern. Or maybe middle class. I am not sure if its location, class or possibly something passed down culturally — maybe a Germanic thing. My ancestors were frugal and proud of it. There is sort of an anti-materialistic thread in these pronouncements. Does that hail from western Europe, eastern Europe … the Mediterranean? I don’t know.

Whatever the case one has to admit that always answering compliments by deflating them in this manner is a bit odd. The person doing the complimenting gains nothing by finding out how little you paid for your blouse, or if you found it in a box at a yard sale.  They were being nice, noticing you — and you turned the content of the interchange to a discussion of economics. 

Consider this: what would the next follow up be? You just explained that you bought the wool coat at Goodwill. Should you be congratulated now!  Is the complimentor expected to say ”Wow. You are really smart! “

Will they think more of you knowing you don’t pay retail for clothes? What is your goal?

I want to experiment with this phenomena ... do a bit of social anthropology. The next time someone compliments me on something I own, I am going to say, "Yeah, and my god, this cost a fortune."

Or maybe I will say, "Yes and I paid dearly for this — really, much more than its worth!"  

Alternately, I could try extreme devaluation. "I found this on the side of a road," might be the basis for an interesting reaction. Let me know what you think. This is a blog afterall. Do you devalue upon being complimented? If so — why so? 

By the way, I like that jacket and I dont care what it cost.