How to Pull a Rabbit Out of a Hat, (for Smart People)

I have always wanted to write a "how-to" book.

The allure of knowing enough about any subject to encapsulize the process involved in its creation, assembly or manifestation into a paperback book or directions is strong.

There is great power in knowledge and, armed with the latest "how-to" book on anything, one may walk with a bit more swagger in her step.

I confess, when the how-to books for Dummies came out, I was not amused. My older sister probably called me dummy, and I have never liked the term.

To have to accept it, as part of the quest for knowledge when needing to fix an electric issue, bake a pie or juggle, and to have to pay the person who tactily called me that name for not having been born knowing how to fix a lawnmower or whatever ... really stuck in my craw. The how-to books for Idiots really walked the edge.

I wanted to write the "How To Boycott Books with Degrading Titles."

The enormous success of these books proves me the fool. People seem to accept the fact that they are dummies or idiots or whatever and grab on to these books to the extent that so many subjects have been covered one wonders if it could ever end. Need your spleen removed? Consult the How To Remove Internal Organs (for Lunatics). Want to overthrow your country? Try this one: How To Lead a Fool Proof Coup (for Fools).

For what its worth, I am going to attempt to write a short short how-to book, more like a paragraph, and I will assume that you are quite intelligent. No doubt each of you know how to do many things — wash a car, make a bed, barbecue something, care for a pet and god knows what else.

My how-to has to do with pulling a rabbit from a hat and I am writing this now because it is exactly what I have to do in life, at work, in relationships ... across the board.

So ...

How To Pull a Rabbit Out of a Hat (for intelligent, hat-less people)

Because you are intelligent, you will have noticed that I mentioned hat-lessness. Yes ... it is critical in this challenge that the person involved either be hat-less, never having had much of a hat, or have been de-hatted. The simple trick grade-B magicians perform with a big top hat and a live rabbit is not that difficult and most of us already know how its done.

Hat-lessness simply means you have no protection from whatever elements are about that could prove threatening. That is what hats are for — hats were invented to keep the sun off your bald head, to keep rain out of your hair, to keep the cold from freezing your mind, and some of them were made real hard in order to keep your skull in tact when a Nordic tribesman took a swing at you with a crude axe. 

So ... let's assume you are in a situation where you have no protection from the elements that do or may surround you at any moment. You might have lost a job, you might have lost your nest egg,  you might have lost your mind ... who knows?

It has to be a bigger deal than losing your parakeet. Maybe your family changed their last name and moved away without giving you a forwarding address. That sort of thing.

You see, the whole rabbit and hat thing are metaphors ... (I said you were intelligent) and you probably already are wondering what the rabbit is going to be. Given that hat-lessness represents a dire situation with no protection for you ... a situation involving great vulnerability to the Forces at Hand, a Rabbit would be some unexpected surprise that amazes you and all about (if anyone is about), and may just lead you to some new "hatted" situation.
OK, you get the idea. Now here is my paragraph:

1. Take the stage and bow. Even in dire situations, it is wise to be polite and to maintain some sort of semblance of calm.
2. Indicate to your audience ... or remind yourself, that you have nothing up your sleeve, that your hands are empty and that the hat is a normal hat with nothing in it. If you have a bulky long sleeved cape of some sort on ... you may need to take it off at this time as a show of honesty and to build trust. And, as you don't have a hat ... just indicate one by acting like you do. Reach to your head, adjust your non-hat and then, taking firm hold of the non-brim, remove it and set it open end up on the table or pedestal or whatever.
3. Now you realize why I don't write how-to books. I forget some of the steps.
4. Get a table ... or get a pedesta,l before you start this performance. 
5. If you still have sleeves on, roll them up and step toward your non-hat with a look of great confidence on your face. Add any flair you want at this time, wave your arm around, wriggle your fingers, moonwalk — anything to build a bit of anticipation and drama. 
6. Reach in to the non-hat with a thrusting motion and grab the rabbit! Swiftly, but without damaging the rabbit, remove it from the non-hat and lift it skyward so all can see! Turn left and right ... amazing everyone! 
7. The last step is difficult for many folks. Believing they are hat-less, many people don't even begin hat tricks. Many of those who give it a shot, bog down worrying about logistics and asking annoying questions like: "Ok, so when does the hat appear or, wont they see the rabbit in an invisible hat ... yada yada?" Yet others follow the steps, but once they move towards the hat that isnt there, get that fearful adrenalin rush that says they don't really get where the rabbit is coming from. They cave at this point, not wanting to look silly. Frankly, many people can't get to the rabbit because they apply reason to what is, after all, a miracle. The problem with reason is it is based on what you already know and have seen and can see and — if you knew there was a hat and you could see it — you would put it on your head and walk away. Reason is backloaded and misses great swaths of what could be. So back to step four.
8. (Step 4) Reach in, believing the rabbit will arrive once you honor that potentiality with a big bold grab ... and, when you feel warm fur, take a good hold, and pull it out. The crowds, however diminutive, will cheer, you will feel good, and life, as you haven't known it, will go on. 
9. And remember when you leave the stage to take your hat!